In middle school, we took an elective course called “service learning.” It was during this quarter-long elective that I formed my first definitions of service, community engagement, and nonprofit work. Definitions I had never sought to challenge until recently. I thought the answer to every problem lay in outside, extraneous forces. If you brought enough money, a plethora of volunteers, and spent a few days, weeks, or even a month, imparting your resources and wisdom, there was no way this system of idealized assistance could fail any problem it aimed to tackle. When all was said and done, I figured it was well within reason to walk away from whatever cause you embedded yourself in for a short time, knowing you were leaving it all the better for the amount of time and resources you had put in. I thought you could walk away.
Before the start of my internship at Franklin Furnace, Harley asked me to familiarize myself with the SEQARTKIDS website, the organization’s arts-in-education program that I would be working under this summer. Browsing the page reminded me of any number of nonprofit programs and organizations I had worked with, volunteered for, or encountered in the intervening years since my middle school service learning course. The model of sending dedicated professionals and resources into public school classrooms traditionally classified as “under-resourced” was familiar to me, a model I never thought to interrogate.
While introducing me to the project I would be spending my summer on, Harley explained that FF was in the early stages of reforming and rethinking SEQARTKIDS. The website I read through embodied the program’s old model, rooted in White supremacy, and following a “White Savior” paradigm. I was alarmed to realize I had found practically no fault in this old model when I browsed the website a few days earlier. It seemed to exemplify the definitions of service and education I had crafted for myself and seen consistently mirrored in the spaces I inhabited. It was not until the inherently problematic, harmful, and disenfranchising nature of this model was spelled out for me that I began to take a critical look at my definitions and understanding of the nonprofit world of education and assistance. Sending teaching artists into neighborhoods they are not from, having them spend a few weeks providing resources and instruction, and then leaving altogether perpetuates this “White Knight in armor” paradigm, Harley explained.
Reflecting on the many invaluable experiences I had and things I learned while interning at FF, I am most grateful for this opportunity to challenge my assumptions about what it looks like to provide service and education and work in the nonprofit sector. As my definitions began to shift, watching the developmental stages of SEQARTKIDS’s transformation, looking for ways to implement culturally-responsive practices and move away from deficit models so commonly found in this line of work, became the highlight of my internship.
“Accountability” is a term I have encountered many times this summer. Across numerous commitments, statements of solidarity, and pledges to enact change, this word carries a lot of weight in my mind. Watching FF’s willingness to admit culpability and participation in a nonprofit ecosystem that traditionally privileges wealth and Whiteness added a new facet to my understanding of the term. Having the opportunity to see the thought process behind the initial stages of SEQARTKIDS’s crucial transformation; shifting its focus to community investment and empowering local control, is one I’ve truly enjoyed and benefited from, but has also left me feeling somewhat ambivalent. I generally prickle when I hear “accountability” thrown around without seeing concrete evidence of the work behind such a commitment. These ambivalent and prickly feelings intensify when I think about the work, planning, and awareness that have gone into the revitalization of SEQARTKIDS, pitted sharply against the fact that at the moment, our words are still just words. While promises to action and plans for change are notable, it is the actual work of dismantling and rebuilding that matters. Unfortunately, the current uncertainty regarding school plans for the fall (and foreseeable future) translates to a similar hesitancy in the way of next steps for SEQARTKIDS.
Another term I have recently spent some time with is “best practices.” First encountered in an Introduction to Education course I took this spring, it is a term I have readily adopted into my vocabulary. I suspect my partiality for the phrase stems from the fact that it appears to say a lot, without really saying anything too specific. Because of this, I regard the term with a feeling similar to my ambivalence towards "accountability." The current moment presents a challenge in implementing the beginning steps of SEQARTKIDS’s transformation, specifically as we ask what “best practices” look like right now. Is it a best practice to begin the work as soon as possible, despite the circumstances, and risk of the possibility of failure or burnout? It is a best practice to wait for the moment when we will have greater confidence in the impact we can make?
These are all questions I have no concrete answers for, only complicated feelings of ambivalence and confusion, as I imagine many others are experiencing. While I cannot walk away from this summer with definite answers to these big questions or a precise action plan for the dismantling and rebuilding that needs to occur, I am secure in the knowledge that my vocabulary and appreciation for this work have grown immensely. I have not been learning GRE Vocab Words of the Day, but I have a much stronger, deeper, and far more multifaceted understanding of what it means to help, educate, remain accountable, and seek out best practices. The next time I prickle at the terminology of grand statements and commitments, I am confident in my ability to interrogate precisely where my feelings of discomfort lie, drawing on my experiences from this summer to inform my next steps and engagement with the language.
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